When life (and possibly your thighs) are feeling like heavy weights…
When stress and overwhelm disrupt your goals and hijack your happiness…
And when you’re ready to rise up, lighten up, and live your best life despite all its stresses…
I have a few go-to emotional wellness keys and tools for healthfully processing emotions. You absolutely can create major shifts and lighten up inside and out — simply by tending to your emotions, today.
Managing your emotional health is a powerful way to release stress and duress and cultivate holistic, mind-body-spirit wellbeing.
Here’s the thing. Most of us have not learned to healthfully notice and navigate our low-vibe emotions for our betterment.
Especially you with the beautiful big hearts – this may seem counter-intuitive. This is so important to your health, wellbeing, and stepping into your power, purpose and light…
No amount of positive thinking, self-improvement, or spirituality will ever stop you from being a human with “negative” or low vibe emotions.
There isn’t an app or pill or pass for getting out of “negative” emotions. And suppressing or bypassing them is just not healthy – mentally, physically, or spiritually.
Yes, even the Dalai Lama has less-than-loving emotions. He is a master at using his mindful skills and navigating them for betterment.
Here’s the real deal. This is still a dense-energy, challenged world, full of strife and struggles, and we are here to live, grow and awaken, not despite our challenging emotions, but through them.
Our emotions are powerful! They can contribute to our mental, physical, and spiritual betterment — or demise. So learning to face them, listen to them, and use them as the navigation tool or inner-GPS system they are devised to be is a key to our wellbeing, and for mastering this game of life.
And once we reach one level of stress and emotional mastery… oh, there are more. Earth life comes with emotional challenges. There is no “just riding out” the stressful times. These wildly changing times are only going to keep on changing.
We can, however, learn to face it all with way more ease, calm, equanimity, kindness, love, and even freedom. When we do, we are in our seat of true power. And we hold the true power in any situation.
So buckle up, Loves, while we learn to face and embrace the inner-emotional ride.
The fantastic news is… there absolutely are very direct, doable ways through the heaviest and hardest of emotions. Although the keys and tools I offer you here may seem basic or simple, and it may be tempting to gloss over them, spend time with them. Commit to them. Bring them to life (the greatest practice). The practice remains simple, but the lessons and understandings will continue to grow, and so will the depths of your wellbeing.
Based in mindfulness and wisdom tradition principles, along with some modern-day twists, these practices have stood the test of time, with irrefutable results. They are not new, just refreshed, streamlined, and given a holistic perspective, always based it all-powerful love.
KEY #1.. When you practice, sincerely practice. It’s about quality of attention, more than even quantity. Be present for yourself and this time. Let the practices build and grow and reveal to you new layers and nuances and allow your process to unfold.
KEY #2… cultivate Emotional Awareness. Pure Awareness is the catalyst for transformation. In the light of Awareness, our inner wisdom has a chance to shine through stress and reactivity and lead the way through our challenging moments and times. We now learn to focus our awareness on our emotional inner-life, the sensations, the movement, the connections between triggers, thoughts, energies, sensations, breath, and Awareness.
KEY #3… Fearlessly look within. That is, instead of immediately looking to fix, judge, or blame the outward situation or other people involved, the mindful process guides you to look inwardly with pure Awareness. The mindful/heartful ABC practice below will help you cultivate and awaken your Awareness, infinitely.
If you want to make any sort of breakthrough in your life, or your relationships with others, this part must not be glossed over.
Ultimately, when we bypass, deny, avoid, or suppress our emotional life, we are distracting ourselves from embracing our real life happening within, which is where our power lies.
We also deny ourselves the higher vibe emotional freedom that awaits us on the other side of emotional stress and suffering… the love, compassion, joy, purpose, creativity, our “best self” and our fullest soul expression await us.
When we overlook our emotions, or rush by them, we inadvertently end up suppressing them, along with an important aspect of self.
This is a way we abandon our Self, and is also a way we can bring more love and kindness to ourselves.
Our maybe we do try and fix them, or release or get rid of them, without giving them their moment. And we find, they keep showing up.
These are ways we inadvertently suppress and bottle up our emotional energy in our bodies. These emotional biochemicals and energies become trapped within our body and energy field and become a program that kicks in time and again, often seemingly out of nowhere.
These programs or energy masses can collect more fuel or energy, and can turn into chronic mental or physical conditions. These become mental/emotional patterns or programs that begin to run our behaviors, choices, and lives.
The Overarching Key: It’s all about how you treat yourself when these uncomfortable emotions show up.
As we learn to look within, we also learn to heartfully witness it all. We invite the emotions into the light in a space of acceptance, friendliness, curiosity, and kindness.
In this whole-hearted space, we give the emotions the acknowledgment they need.
In learning to accept our emotions, we learn to more fully accept ourselves.
While we can’t eliminate unpleasant emotions from our experience (nor would we want to, they protect us, have insights and info for us, and more…), we do have the power to wield them for our betterment and higher good.
There is a magic switch that can flip when, instead of bypassing, ignoring or internalizing our emotions, we invite them into the light of our Awareness. And in that circle of light, we also accept them.
This is self-love in action, every time you do this “work.”
Heartfully facing our emotions is a brave, bold act of self-love that builds lasting, true inner-trust and power.
It is a loving way to understand yourself, and your true needs and desires.
It is a way to give yourself your own support and validation instead of always seeking it externally and from others.
Emotional health is powerful. And yes, vibrationally attractive, too.
Inner-emotional health can only be cultivated by you. You can’t expect others or external situations or conditions to fill you up with love, confidence, or fulfillment. This is all emotional-based, and it requires you to run your emotional show – instead of it running you.
If you’re here, trust you are called to bring your fierce love and light – your true power- to Life during these wild, changing times.
And it’s pretty hard to do if you are caught up in patterns of emotional reactivity, or are burdened with chronic levels of stress, pain, overwhelm, and fatiguing emotions – and all the ways we escape or distract ourselves from facing them.
If you’re tired of the life-hijacking disruption, strife, overwhelm, and mayhem of stress, worry, and challenging emotions (and you get that life isn’t all unicorns and rainbows) you may be interested in my Mind-Body-Emotion Code Sessions: Patterns to Power, now offered at a special intro rate.
You might also like to follow me on IG or FB (at “Kay Bye-Coach” Page) or via email, as I’ll continue to reveal more ways to lighten up, inside and out, to unleash your vibrant, abundant next-level life, health, weight, power, purpose… you name it.
The stress, uneasiness, discontent, discouragement, overwhelm, and heaviness… is something you CAN release and transform.
And, as you learn to wield your emotions, you also begin to masterfully navigate your life, through anything and everything.
Instead of merely getting by, and surviving it, you gain the confidence that you CAN rise higher, and thrive – no matter what.
I also offer the Mind-Body-Soul “Patterns to Purpose” holistic signature coaching program.
A fresh new start is here in every new moment. If it’s time to break out of your “Ground Hog Day,” get off the same daily rollercoaster ride and break through the blocks that are sabotaging you, here is a self-affirming, healthy, high vibe way to ensure it happens.
Your mental-emotional-soulful holistic health is not a luxury. It is central to your health, well-being, and true success in life. It is essential. And you may have to trust me right now, but I will help you deeply know that you are so worth it.
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Put it into Practice
I am huge on “putting it into practice” beyond the meditation cushion, because that’s where the magic happens. You’ll find I offer many free resources full of practical, doable, beautiful practices. (Be sure to sign up or check out FB or IG, as I do send out loads of valuable freebies.)
Here’s a go-to tool you can use every day, all day… The more you use it, the more attuned, aligned and present you’ll be. It’s a foundational tool for developing Awareness of your inner-life, and can potentially turn those spirals and reactive moments around in an instant.
Awareness is power. And it’s a foundational key for transformation and it’s woven into most of the practices I offer. Some may think it seems overly basic, and it is. Yet, not many sincerely practice it and reap the cumulative benefits! It’s a practice that can infinitely grow and awaken. And as your Awareness opens, expands, and awakens, so does true, Limitless You.
Remember, small beginnings bring big things…
The Practice: The Emotional Cleanse A.B.C.
The practice begins with choosing to pause, either to simply check within, or when you notice you are “off,” tense, heavy or stressed in some way.
This can be done on “the cushion” in a longer exploratory way, or, it’s also designed to do “in the thick.” All it takes is a few quality focused seconds, and you can transform the moment, your day, and ultimately, you can radically change your life.
Spend time with each step… try not to rush through to get to the next step. Each step is powerful in itself and can be deeply explored in and of itself. Take time practicing these in planned practice sessions, so they are familiar and becomes second nature to reach for them when you are caught in a stressed or reactive moment.
Ir this is a home practice, you may like to begin by bringing a hand to your heart to open the gateway to your innately kind, loving, core presence, or simply sense your heart rhythm for a few moments… and when ready proceed through the practice below.
STEP ONE: The 3 As
A – The Awareness Aha, Accept, Allow
1/ AWARENESS AHA! This is the life-changing moment when we shift from stress, emotion or mind-takeover, into observer mode, we awaken our Awareness of our Self in the moment. We begin to connect our mind to our inner-life as we notice we are caught, “off”, tense, stressing, spiraling, or any other life happening within.
Bring your Awareness to the Mind thoughts and state, as well as the Body and Emotional sensations… notice the sensations within, when ready simply name each experience, and move on as your Awareness directs you…
Continue to relax and open to the present moment as you begin to bring awareness within… What are you feeling? Where? Become familiar with the various types of emotional sensations… there may be warming, contracting, tingling, pulsing, tension, adrenalin, restlessness, low energy, cloudiness, fragmented… or perhaps softening, soothing, peace, or ease…
NOTE: As we learn to awaken Awareness, we also learn to begin connecting to our Greater Self, our Higher Perspective or Self, of our Whole, Open Heart or the Light of Awareness. This is mindfulness, or I like to call it Heartfulness as a reminder to connect with our wholeness. Each step helps us open to the unconditional Heart, or true power within.
2/ ACCEPTING… As you experience the sensations, say hello, invite them into the light, and release any urge to avoid, bypass, fix, or judge… simply accept and observe with curiousity or kind attention.
If you notice resistance, judgment, or unlovingness, see if you can accept that, too. Accept everything into this awaking light of Awareness.
3/ ALLOW & FOLLOW… notice and allow whatever wants to arise in this awakening space… notice the sensations within your body, and anything they trigger for you, the sensations may shift, contract, open, or move… let your attention follow them through their natural process… you can stay then for up to 2 minutes, then shift focus to the next step… and gently breath…
B – Breathe… Take at least 3 long, relaxing, soothing, breaths.
You may notice you begin naturally relaxing your breathing as soon as you shift into Awareness and the A & B step overlap. All good. Simply allow it all, and focus your mind on one area or “anchor” at a time.
- As you begin to focus your attention on your breathing, set an intention for these breaths to release any extra tension or charge, or to soothe, restore or re-energize.
- To help you focus you might count each breath cycle, or say to yourself, “breathe in… breathe out… ” and notice what releases… and release whatever charge or tension wants to go…
- If the emotional life and sensations seem to be stuck, begin to use the breath to soothe them, open them, and bring love and light to them…
- As you breathe through the emotions and sensations, lightly notice and observe. As they shift or move along their journey, listen to them… do they have something to voice, express, or an inner message? Don’t force anything… just notice…
NOTE: breathing through the emotional sensations and energies isn’t about bypassing your deeper emotional life. It’s about easing and opening the e-motions into their natural flow through the body. The breath can also help clear or smooth extra charge or “off” energies keeping you stuck and reactive, and helping you shift your brain back online where you can make your next more healthful choice.
Stay longer if you can, using your breath as an anchor for your focus, soothing and releasing anything ready to soften, open, or go…
When you’ve returned to a neutral state, or without heightened reactive charge, or higher… move on…
C/ Choose…
When ready, choose your next step toward emotional ease, betterment, and release.
OR choose your next stress-free or love-based step forward now.
If you still have stuck, weighty, or disruptive emotions or energy hanging out, make a plan to healthfully process them when you can. Healthfully processing your emotions through conscious conversation, EFT, journaling, meditation, or the FreeCORE healing & transformation tools and system can shift your emotions, and life, in minutes, rather than festering in them, or keeping the program and patterns running your life.
Learn more about Mind-Body-Emotion Code – Holistic Healing & Transformation coaching sessions in the ABOUT SECTION.
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Tips for healthfully processing stress or emotions:
A great segue into your evening is to review and process any charged emotions or reactive situations you had during the day. To settle in, you can use the ABC process and revisit any emotional disturbances that may still be lurking around your mind and body. Use your breath as a way to relax and anchor within. Then, choose a way to further process or release stress or emotions as you need…
KEYS FOR POWERFUL EMOTIONAL HEALTH:
- Do let it out! Don’t suppress – express yourself – healthfully. Do it intentionally, and heartfully – with Awareness and Acceptance.
- For every “complaint” or grievance expressed, be sure to include how you feel about it. A simple prompt is: “I feel [ BLANK] about this situation. You may feel more than one emotion, simply notice, and accept them all.
- Name the emotions: Can you name what the actual emotion is when it shows up? Many people find they have a hard time deciphering the emotion/s. Notice when you’re calling the emotional life a superficial, generic emotion such as “stress,” and what the actual emotion is, such as, “lost,” anxiousness, nervousness, discouragement, insecurity, or worry.
- Try Inquiry: Ask “What am I believing?” Is it absolutely True? Is it healthy? Is it love-based or lack/fear-based?
- Wrap it up with a Reframe: What’s a more supportive belief, perspective or attitude? **(Continue to affirm a new supporting belief as a powerful way to create a new wiring and experience lasting release).**
- Who could I choose to be in this situation? See if you can begin to shift into the qualities and energies of your Higher Self, now, and let your day unfold from there…
MORE TIPS & TOOLS:
1/ Climb the emotional ladder, incrementally. Intend to release the lower emotions and move higher on the ladder, one rung at a time. Often, aiming for “neutral” is a doable place to land. Leaping from despair to joy, for example, is typically too daunting. A climb out of low-level emotions could look like this: anger can feel better than depression. Then, when ready, shift to vulnerability. Then to neutrality. Then to calm or peace. You get to chart your climb, one emotion at a time. Give yourself the time and space you need to process each rung.
2/ Physically release as needed. Sometimes you need to physically get that sh*t out. Get up and shake it off, literally. Give yourself a releasing cry, a salt bath, or good exercise session, or a great massage. Some people like pillow punching, boxing or even dish breaking! Just be sure to be Aware of your inner-emotional life, and hold the intention to release it when you do the physical release. Breathe it through your system, and without forcing or pushing, sense it soothing, softening, opening, releasing… and accept your process no matter what.
3/ Emotions can get stuck or keep coming back. These are our emotional patterns with deeper roots. Don’t try and force-fix them. Send them love, light, and acceptance, and trust the shift has begun the moment you bring heartful Awareness to it. Proceed gently, with patience and kindness.
If it’s not ready to release, you probably have a deeper root, a message to hear, and/or some life situations to face and sort through. Make time to further process your emotions and mental programs, and the larger situation at hand.
The “Patterns into Power” Mind-Body-Soul Healing Sessions are designed to support you safely and directly through to freedom. Check them out on the Coaching Page if you’re up for really moving through this “work,” and making real, lasting transformations in your life.
3/ Seek more help if you need it. Really. This is an act of emotional resilience. There are so many resources out there! Keep seeking and trying and will find your way. Don’t try to soldier through on your own — especially if you’re noticing you’re stuck in the same old ruts and patterns.
If your emotions seem big, deep, overwhelming, traumatic, out of proportion, and/or really stubborn and stuck on repeat – there are real reasons and real practical things you can do to shift them. Again, get reliable support and help when you are stuck or in deep.
You may have layered, trapped emotions and patterns that go back to early childhood (most of us do), and beyond. It could very well be holistically Mind-Body-Spirit related.
Trauma isn’t the only thing that can illicit overwhelming emotions, so can deeply rooted patterns that have been layering and growing for years and years.
Yes, Spiritual Healing is a thing. It is all connected, and the soul or spiritual aspect may need to be heard, processed, and explored to break through or shift into the true transformation.
They can even be inherited, or absorbed. Or they can be from something we don’t realize was little “t” trauma at the time. One woman had a deep-seated fear of the roaring lion in the beginning of movies from childhood, and it was contributing to hand tremors and nervousness in middle age! This stuff can be rooted out with practical methods. Sometimes an insightful guide is just what you need.
I’m here for you, too. Follow me, or if you can, or check out the Patterns to Power: Holistic Healing & Transformation Coaching sessions now at a special intro price (you’ll also get a comprehensive Emotional Wellness Guide using the FreeCORE system.) Having an insightful, supportive coach is a springboard to help you leaps and bounds through where you’ve been stuck and spinning before.
I can’t say it enough – take care of your emotional health, it is a central aspect of mental, physical, and spiritual health and overall life success. Research backs it up. The field of Emotional Intelligence backs it up. Stress research everywhere backs it up.
Emotional pain, poverty, and dis-ease are all connected and real.
OR you can FLOURISH! Become emotionally well-thy and resilient. With all the resources these days, Your emotions are not who you are, and are not all-powerful. When you learn to healthfully navigate and process through the patterns, you take back your power. it is your choice.
So much love to you,
Kay
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